Sunday, 18 August 2013

Car-booty Episode 3: Oh great... more stuff

Let me start this episode with a confession... 

Its cool bro, Atari's kick ass.
My addiction to collecting old shite is still in full effect, however this doesn't mean the gaming has taken a back seat. Me and the wife played through Bioshock Infinite, had a huge Super Meat Boy session, and we're currently playing through Bioshock 2 for the 4th time.

Although having lots of quality time with my better half, I still managed to hoover up far too many games thanks to the Humble Bundle & weekly Humble sale... so now my Steam list has more games than I will ever have time to play (as if it needed more).

I can write that off in my head though, you'd be a plonker for turning down Dead Space 1 & 3, Burnout Paradise, Medal of Honour, Crysis 2, Mirrors Edge, Darwinia, Multiwinia, Uplink and Defcon for £1.34. TOTAL. Now I usually pay over the average so hold back the criticism for now, if I cheap out again you can slap me in the street - I would deserve it... Also any money to Charity and Developers is still money... SHUT UP!

Enough justifying my tightness as your about to find out why cash is in short supply...

If I was an alcoholic [again] my behaviour would be considered a 'binge' or a 'blow-out', y'see I got an offer I couldn't refuse from an old friend and remember how I mentioned in my last episode, you 'find' cash for your addiction... Well I did. I put my tail between my legs and rang up my Dad.

After pleading for a loan my Father obliged. 

Next thing I knew there was a knock at the door and my good friend Eric was there, smiling like a Cheshire cat as always... Seriously, this is the single most positive man I have ever met. I walked out to his little red car and suddenly realized what I had let myself in for.

Dude, you wanna buy some games?
Inside Eric's little red car there was enough room [barely] to sit in the drivers seat, the rest was FULL of packing boxes... up to the ceiling, seats folded down flat - FULL. We proceeded to conga-line the heavy boxes into my kitchen, and after about 4 trips we were done. With all my kitchen surfaces covered in dusty old boxes, we stepped outside to complete the transaction and after a 10 minute catch up my 'dealer' was driving his little red car home to enjoy the void where is mountain of boxes used to be.

I calmed myself for a while by playing with my daughter, possibly trying to prove to myself that I was still a good father despite spending enough money to cover 2 weeks of food for the family. When I had replenished my joy-joy feelings, I set about moving the mountain of plastic up to the spare room.

Actually, 'spare room' is no longer a fitting description as it is unfit for humans to live in due to the insanely high dust levels from all my old shit...

Don't envy me... I chose games instead of carpet,

Red faced and choking on 20~30 year old dust particles, I started to unpack the boxes. Eric had given me the cliff-notes and they alone justified his price - however nothing could have prepared me for the surprises in store.

Allow me to deliver the next paragraph in script format for when they make the inevitable TV movie based on this sad old fuck who died from dust inhalation.

[Scene: 'The discovery'. Location: Spare room]

Anton sits on the bed. He looks at the boxes in front of him, they fill the room almost completely.

Anton: Right where to start?

He scans the room for some kind of clue. He lifts the lid of the closest box.

Anton: No way...

Anton pulls out an Atari Jr. Along with 4 official controllers, 2 rotary paddles, and 2 zipsticks.

Anton: ... No fucking way...

Anton pulls out an original Atari 2600 with walnut finish & about 20 decent games

Anton: .... holy shit ...

Anton pulls out an Atari 520 STE personal computer and approximately 25 games.

Anton: ... Eric,[tear runs down cheek] I love you.

Cut to Rocky 4 style montage showing Anton finding a C64, Sega Saturn, Playstation, N64, Original Gameboy, dozens of accessories, Donkey Kong & Snoopy handhelds, NEO-GEO pocket color and about 100 various decent games. 

Music softens, fade to black


So I genuinely ended up with too much to list. Even now after 36 hours I still haven't fully sorted the gear out. I imagine there will be a follow on article / feature / hangover regarding this little acquisition but I need rest... all the adrenaline of my latest 'fix' has my head spinning.

Keep telling yourself Anton.

Later skater.


(P.S. Eric your a legend, if you ever turn gay, I may have to consider a future with you)

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