Friday, 8 November 2013

(GTA) 5 things Rockstar did or somethin'

1. Bewbs!

The year is 2013 and we have the 57th sandbox crime game this year, the immense GTA 5 or GTA V if your a Roman... whatever.

Like all the other sandbox gangster games this game features strip clubs... or as I have come to call them...


Rockstar have been making interactive murder n' drive games for a while now and strippers have featured since 'GTA: Flinstones City' or somethin'... you'd think by now they would have perfected digital strippers....

2.  The 'N word'!

Google images, you never fail to amaze.
Oh my word, I feel like I have been skull-loved by Dr Dre and Snoopy Dog, their 'N words' juice pouring out my nose.

I am pretty sure Micheal Bay wrote this thing, as it is about as natural as a minstrel at a KKK kegger.

... I hate Micheal Bay.

3. The soundtrack is awesome

Phil Collins returns!... and a few others...

4. Pedo beards! 

First thing my crew got were pedo beards and serial killer glasses... I need a flasher jacket to finish off my holy trinity of sexual predator attire. Our gang motto will be...

'Killing you is just the start of the horrors we shall unleash'

Thank you

5. Its a very good game.

Well done Kotaku on the best picture ever.
Joking aside, the game is great. By no means am I remotely near finishing it but this is one of those rare occasions where the hype is justified.

I intend on reviewing it when we have beaten the story mode.

I just watched my wife attend a strip club with Micheal, feel up a stripper and then get laid at her flea pit house.

My wife just did it with a stripper in front of me.

No comments:

Post a Comment